There are times in our life, we feel betrayed. Now, it is another thing that it may have happened for real or not. But let us stay with 'I feel betrayed.' Now how to find a resolution and peace in the middle of something like this. Now, if I am feeling betrayed, I will not [...]
Rocket propulsion
A rocket needs to be lit at its butt, so that it can push itself forward. The pain in the ass of the rocket is very much needed, and an essential part for it to move from the inertia of being stationary. That's what pain does to us in life. Or at least has the [...]
Play dead
Drink the poison life gives you, Drink it, keep it in the throat. Complain not. Keep the Lord in your heart. Complain not. All seeming atrocities life gives you, Take them with head bowed down, With open hands, Complain not. & Whenever you are ready, And have reacted enough no. Of times, Exploded enough no.of [...]
Heaven and Hell
I have been to hell. Yes. I think I now can say that I have tasted Hell. Dark, chaotic, painful, full of misery and suffering. Yes, I have tasted that. It seems familiar. But that's not all of it. There is light too. At each step of the ladder to hell, there is light. It [...]
Sri Aurobindo’s-The Life Divine #2
...Continued excerpts from Book 2, Chapter XII - The Origin of Ignorance (Here, Sri A talks about the dynamic/active aspect of the Divine and the passive/immobile aspect of the Divine - and clarifies for us that they may appear to be two separate things, but are not really) .......But for us there are two objects [...]
The sunlit path & the path of suffering
A child has gotten addicted to lollies. The Mother sees that this has happened. The Mother wants the best for her child. She knows very well that any kind of addiction is not good for the health of the child. She now has to get the child deaddicted, for the child's own good. It is [...]
Sri Aurobindo’s ‘The Life Divine’ – #1
Starting a new series of posts to reflect upon in our silences- sharing excerpts from chapters of The Life Divine, by Sri Aurobindo. Book-2, Chapter XII - The Origin of Ignorance How could this manifold ignorance of this narrowly self limiting and separative knowledge arise and come into action or maintain itself in action in [...]
You choose..
One day, those who you trusted the most, will mock at you, laugh at you, will tell you .. "you are imperfect, you are ugly, unworthy of grace. How dare you touch something pious, sacred, beautiful and worthy?" They will tell you, directly or indirectly, And say "you are not worthy of grace, you are [...]
In me- two live.
I have something in me, which is little, very petty, very sticky, does not die, is always alive, always ready to be triggered at the least provocation. And I have something in me, which does not really love all the stickiness, the pettiness, it does not like to be triggered, it aspires, it gets inspired, [...]
Listening to the body’s signals
Have you ever felt a burning in the chest, A constriction in the heart or somewhere... When anger comes, when hate, ill-will .. or desire, jealousy, or resentment comes, it irritates the body, it burns the body too.. The irritation is a signal, the body doesn't like it much. It would not want to follow [...]
Chhoooo-mantar !!!
Something was on her mind, A bit on her heart.. Things unresolved, can make any one fart. That dard of the heart went into her head, Caused a creepy crawly migraine there.. Hmm... What to do? She wondered, had no clue! She pushed herself out of the head, and a bit out of the bed. [...]
Why to run like a fool?
That which meant so much to me yesterday, Does not mean anything today. That for which I ran after, wanted and wanted and got, Now doesn't matter much, if there or not. And today, if I still run after another thing, Can't I see that it would change its meaning and importance soon? In this [...]
When things go bad..
When things are sad, And look a bit bad... Just tell yourself, that you are still there. Place your hand on your heart, And assure yourself, Yes, I am still there, besides me. People may have given up on you, People may have closed their doors, For some reason or another, You are just on [...]
Moon
As I am asleep, deep asleep in my room, Not aware of anything called light.. You come every night, and force me To wake up. I am not really wanting it. No. But here you come, with your gentle force, a gentle and persistent force, You stand there, with your full brightness and shine, And [...]
Have you given love wings?
Have you ever given your love, wings? I did not know how to do it. I was insecure, full of fears and doubts. So I kept it closed, caged. It started to rot, to wilt. It started to lose its vigour and charm. It started to lose its gentle touch and fragrance. I did not [...]
We will never part..
Now, that you are not there with me, I see myself becoming you! I get goosebumps when I see myself thinking, Feeling in the way you would. As if, when it seems I have lost you, I am closer to you even more. Face values deceive, they say. Now it is more clear... Yes, I [...]
No mediocre stuff will suffice!
Our biggest disappointments or let downs have the capacity to push us towards something more beautiful in our lives. Why? Whenever we are let down in life, we are disappointed, for what we had expected, or planned did not happen, dreams did not flourish as we had imagined them to. Then there is so much sadness, [...]
The Universal Being
It seems I have lost you.. You seem far far away, I can't see, can't talk, can't be with you.. For a moment I feel sad. For a moment I feel things could be different. But then, I see the fact as a fact. And something brings me solace and lightness.... I know that the [...]
Standing by myself
We are all imperfect, moving towards increasing purity and perfection,And there are moments when I am not my highest. I realise later, I could have done better, be better, But the moment is gone, all I have is an experience..a taste of darkness,And yes, with the wisdom coming from the experience, I will do better, I will [...]
People may kick you, you don’t leave yourself.
There will be times when no one will be with you, Your bestest will leave you, abandon you.. For they have things too, to look after, to go for. What will you do then? Feel lost, abandoned, hurt, unwanted, unworthy, rejectable? Or Be your bestest friend ever. They may have given up on you. But [...]
Fated together !!?!
She had consulted an astrologer, a very good one, in order to sail through something which was very painful and intense. Where she did not know what to do. One thing turned out to be v clear, and it was- they were fated together in this life. She and another person, they were both fated [...]
You were never there!
You were never there! Whenever I needed you, you were never there. God knows what illusion I followed, That I ran after you, like a mirage.. you always escaped and went away and away. I thought of sharing my life with you, But you were not there. I thought of sharing my dreams and ideas [...]
Okay-ness with myself
I was ok with myself, I did not ask for anyone else. I was ok with the phases and turns of my life. And then, you were sent. And before I knew, I left my side. I abandoned myself. Now, I wasn't ok with myself. I needed you. But with you too, I was not [...]
Ask and it shall be given..
Loads was to be done. This task, that task, that care, that matter, unending matters of life. She put herself in to the works. All that was needed will be done, in time. She invested herself, as much as she could. She could see herself getting exhausted, drained out, breaking. And then, she decided to [...]
The stubborn child
Our patterns of thinking, patterns of behavior, patterns of emotions, me and my story - creates this thing that we call as "ego." What do I want by the other person to behave in the way that I think is right? What do I want by the relationship to go in a direction which I [...]
The missing piece of the heart
Something was amiss. There was emotional pain, restlessness and something wasn't right. As she wriggled on her bed, trying to sleep, trying to find answers, nothing worked. What was wrong? What was amiss? Is human life just a continued moving from one misery, a sigh of relief, another misery? It can't be. There must be [...]
यह जीव आया दूर ते, जाना है बहु दूर । बिच के बासे बसि गया, काल रहा सिर पूर ॥
यह जीव आया दूर ते, जाना है बहु दूर । बिच के बासे बसि गया, काल रहा सिर पूर ॥ Saint Kabir das ji. Kabir ji says here: You have come from the beyond, and you have to journey to the beyond, where in the middle did you settle down? Can't you see, right next [...]
Sense of doership and attachments
It seems that there are many relationships one has as an individual. There are some where one is not that attached, and hence, less of misery, less of expectations and demands from those particular relationships. But there are a few places in my life, with respect to people, money, power, material things - where I [...]
O stree kal aana -to- O stree raksha karna
Remember the movie - Stree. How the people in that little place changed, transformed, transmuted, their ways of looking at the lady ghost who was troubling the people there. They changed the energy of the way they looked at her. From fear and panic and victimhood, to respect, faith and bowing down. And then the [...]
कबीर जीवन कुछ नहीं, खिन खारा खिन मीठ कलहि अलहजा मारिया, आज मसाना ठीठ।
कबीर जीवन कुछ नहीं, खिन खारा खिन मीठकलहि अलहजा मारिया, आज मसाना ठीठ। Kabir ji says, This life is fleeting, ephemeral, changes every moment. In a moment it can turn salty, in a moment sweet. Look at that warrior, who was slaying and fighting yesterday in the battlefield; he now lies dead in the shamshaan. [...]
कबीर गाफील क्यों फिरय, क्या सोता घनघोर, तेरे सिराने जाम खड़ा, ज्यों अंधियारे चोर।
कबीर गाफील क्यों फिरय, क्या सोता घनघोरतेरे सिराने जाम खड़ा, ज्यों अंधियारे चोर। O negligent fellow, why do you continue to sleep deeply? Right next to your pillow is standing the thief, who will rob you of your life, anytime. (In darkness of your being, you cannot sense the thief) There are many many couplets, [...]
तन को जोगी सब करें, मन को बिरला कोई. सब सिद्धि सहजे पाइए, जे मन जोगी होइ.
तन को जोगी सब करें, मन को बिरला कोई. सब सिद्धि सहजे पाइए, जे मन जोगी होइ. Kabir ji says, there are many many who try and work towards detachment of the body. Leaving relations, family, leaving attachment to material possessions, etc. But only a rare one would try and make the mind non-sticky, free [...]
Images of a breakthrough!
Often times on the spiritual path, we are waiting for a breakthrough to happen. Ah. One fine day, I will be peaceful, and would feel content and be joyous, without any misery. That fine day is an illusion. It will never come. And we will pass a lifetime waiting for a tomorrow. These are just [...]
The Battlefield of Kurukshetra
The Epic wisdom in the form of Bhagavad Gita, mentions the conflict of Arjuna and its resolution by Sri Krishna. Let us see this in context of our day to day life. Although Kurukshetra is a place materially existing in India. Yet, it is also signifying the battlefield within each one of us, human beings. [...]
The positive side of guilt
Often guilt and shame have been considered very negative and almost depressive. While it is true that indulgence in guilt, shame and unworthiness is not desirable for progress, yet it seems that they can just act as a signal for further betterment. Blessed are those who have ever encountered a bit of guilt and shame [...]
What’s truly me?
The way I react, the way I speak, the way I behave, my thought patterns, my emotional patterns, my likes and dislikes, my opinion about myself and others, my mental rigidities and my beliefs and rules and principles, All of that I take that as me. And I suffer badly owing to this attachment to [...]
Moving on and on..
Often times, we go through life situations, or relationships, where we get trapped in the pattern of thoughts, emotions, or tendencies. We feel overwhelmed with the situation and land up in a mess, conflicts, emotional un-resolution, mental conflicts. If we are taking life as Yoga, or a path of sadhana, then, we would try to [...]
Don’t give up yet..
Yes, you loved them dearly, and now they can't be seen anywhere nearly. When you feel you need someone the most, they are no where to be seen and you feel lost. Feel lost. Feel abandoned. Feel all the pity and the misery, go through this auspicious darkness and abandonment, from people you loved. So [...]
Receive the coldness and warmth in gratitude..
Many a times it happens in our life that we receive coldness, or indifference from our so called near, dear ones. Their mood may be upset, they may be processing emotions, going through their own internal movements, or whatever.. You are around them, and all that you receive is coldness and indifference..for no fault or [...]
Truth waits…
While truth waits for us... To give it a heed. We are occupied, very very occupied, In looking after our basic needs. There is no end to our day to day life, And no end to the struggle and strife. We wait for the right time to arrive, For our cramps to heal, Our food [...]
Do not keep on waiting..
Do not keep on waiting, For some special one to come to you, And give you some love. He/She has no time, they are occupied with their own self. And, You have waited enough! Haven't you? What happened to all the years of wait? Can't you see for yourself, it does not work that way! [...]
The play, the game…
Life throws things at me, I say, bring it on baby! It's in love with me, With each one of us. The deeper a challenge it throws, The deeper I go within, to find the corresponding strength... It's a bottomless well of strength there, It never seems to end really. So I say, life, bring [...]
A different way to live
Flowering of free human beings not emotionally dependent on other people, not living a life feeding their insecurities, not wanting to extract any source of feed from the other person - this flowering seems to be a dangerous flowering for the systems currently existing. Dangerous for the presently existing systems of marriage, institutions, business models [...]
Waiting for signs of approval
We keep playing hide and seek in our relationships, in our day to day life. It is very amusing to see, how we do it, how much energy we put into it. To see if a person has approved of me, I will keep on waiting for a gesture from the person, sometimes for a [...]
No one to prove guilty
Many times, in our life, things happen. Things are said, things are felt, things are misunderstood, people move on, priorities change, you are hurt, you hurt someone else, etc.etc. It takes a lot of courage and strength to not try to prove anyone responsible. It takes a lot of groundedness and inner strength to know [...]
Freedom from patterns/tendencies
As we go ahead, walk on and on, on this path of life as an exploration, as sadhana, as yoga, it is not that our older tendencies, ways of reacting, talking, ways of emotional patterns, etc, disappear overnight. There is no need of shame when one sees the older patterns, or ways of the ego, [...]
Repulsion towards a person..
Many a times, one doesn't even know why exactly, one feels a sense of repulsion from someone. One may see the person, feel repulsed, one may hear a name, or look at a photo or think about that person, and feel repulsed. One has not a clear idea, why it may happen. But the fact [...]
Discomforts on the path
Often we find ourselves trapped in images about a spiritual life. We all have even without knowing, developed some images in our head, of what it is to be on the path of Truth, or Divine, or spirituality. One common image that comes to us is, that we will not have to face any tensions, [...]
In my helplessness, I am the strongest
The more situations have become challenging, the more they have shattered me, everytime, without exception, I have found myself connected to a deeper strength, owing to no particular doing from my side. Feels as if I myself, in my not being helpless become a resistance in unmasking of this deeper strength. Sooner the better. Sounds [...]
Learning to know love..
I thought love was to keep you around, I thought love was to always be with you, But it feels like I had no idea of what love was, Because I see that not having you around requires a deeper quality of love, Not having you around requires my heart to be open and wide, [...]
The beauty of un-surety ..
More often, we talk about 'be sure', 'be confident' etc etc. Why to be sure? What is the benefit of surety? We rarely pause to question that. We take it for 'sure' that to 'be sure' is good. To be in doubt, or in un-surety is something that needs to be avoided. Why? Let us [...]
Rotten khichdi
Imagine.. Imagine that we are granted with a khaali (empty) katora (bowl), each moment. Each new moment is like an empty new bowl. Where a new possiblity can arise, a new beginning, a fresh something, has the space and potential to arise. But the way we are used to live is : I am in [...]
Desire = past
A desire is always belonging to the past. How? I can not desire something which I have not already seen, thought of, tasted, before. I may have eaten something in the past which I enjoyed. So, I can desire for that again. I may have heard of something through a friend, I know a bit [...]
Autoimmune conditions
When I was doing PhD in Auto Immune disorders, Myasthenia Gravis and Multiple Sclerosis, I did not know that years later, I will be talking about it, as I do right now. There was one question that always bothered me, was even bothering me, when I was over with my PhD. That question was: I [...]
Kids and adults
What fun is it, virtually Every time, to look at little kids playing, wandering, having fun. I wonder often, what is so attractive about them..innocence, honest, raw, transparent, vulnerable, unarmed, rid of past, rid of future, fully available to all experience of life. Whether it is crying, getting hurt, swinging, hitting, fighting, playing, jumping, dancing, [...]
User friendly Love
I am so used to comfort, my ease, my not wanting to stretch myself much. I am so used to comfort, that I now want even Love to be user friendly. Wow. Never heard something like that before! User friendly Love! I thought Love stretches itself in all directions it feels pulled towards. I thought [...]
Living as a slave or King..
A whole life time is passed, listening, obeying and being a slave to the expectations and demands of someone inside me, which I think to be myself. I drain my energies, run a whole day, after people, after jobs, after money, after relationships, in a wishful thinking that if I fulfill the demands and wants [...]
Failing myself, how can I help others..
Question: I am still not able to maintain the right attitude in my own sadhana and yet I try to pose as an adviser and instructor. Well, one can give good advice even when one does not follow it oneself—there is the old adage “Do what I preach and not what I practise.” More seriously, [...]
Tendencies and understanding
Tendencies (limited patterns of behaviour and of thinking) can and do coexist together with the light of understanding. Often times we see, when I see that I understand what is right for me and what is not, even then I find myself on the crossroads with a bundle of tendencies, of limiting patterns of behaviour [...]
To be interested or not..
What would interest a drunkard? Alcohol. Satsang will not really interest him. Right? What will interest an addict? The object of his addiction, of course. But that does not say that being interested in alcohol or any object of my addiction is good for me per se. I just am so obsessed with being interested [...]
Die everyday..
I die everyday, everyday I die, to the ones I love, and like, to the things I love to do, to my likes and dislikes. I die everyday and am reborn, to experience you afresh, to experience me afresh, to experience the various things, to experience life itself. For I see that if I don't [...]
Remember and Offer
Remember and Offer: The Mother (Pondicherry) Many times in our life, and especially on the spiritual path, (where one is consciously becoming more and more aware of the subtle movements of the being, even mild ripples of the being are noticed, and cannot escape the eye of witnessing presence) things happen, movement is noticed in [...]
Ordeals – shortest way to the Divine
Be grateful for all ordeals. They are the shortest way to the Divine : The Mother In normal life, we try our best to avoid ordeals. We try to take all the possible routes so that we do not have to face much ordeals, but alas! As if an unseen hand knows the best. We [...]
Quality of my mind and my life..
The quality of my mind reflects the quality of my life. The quality of my life reflects the quality of my mind. If I want to change my life, I will have to look at the quality of my mind. If I want to change the quality of my mind, I will have to look [...]
We are more than the wounds..
She had stabbed her hand by mistake, a few months ago.. It happened while she was getting the coconut out from its shell. Something happened, and in an instant the sharp knife was in her hand, a bit deeper. So, it could not be called a cut or a scrape off, but better a stab! [...]
Intimate relationships..
In intimate relationships, there is something that happens, which does not usually happen in all other relationships. We begin to look at ourself from other person's eyes. We place our sense of self-worth in other person's hands. If he loves me, I feel loved. If he abandons me, I feel abandoned. If he cares for [...]
When the weather turns nice..
And when the weather turns seeming nice, And showers it's bounty, it's light, it's warmth, it's embrace over me, I will not get addicted to these bright images only, I will not want more and more of these bright bounties now.. For I have seen YOU in all the misery and conflict too... For I [...]
All I have is conflicts..
I look at myself, and ask... What of me shall I share with the world!! And I don't see anything worthy in me, Of sharing... I just see conflicts, and I see confusions, I see misery and I see strife... And I doubt my self -giving to this world, So I stay shut, shelled, I [...]
When you get the call…
And when you get a call from your true home, Don't say let me finish this and then.. Don't procrastinate going home for a moment... Don't say let me finish the chore for today, and then.. Just heed the call and respond immediately, Just know the call, and go for the holy dip, urgently, For [...]
