Love. I thought I knew what it is, until it was revealed to me.. that I had no clue of what love is.. And in that revelation, in that crashing to the ground.. breaking apart in countless pieces.. I felt.. As if I touched love, for the very first time in life.. And now, when [...]
Self Love is self-less.
Earlier, in one of the posts, I have talked on Self Love. That Self Love is Ruthless. You may have a look here if inclined: https://thegiftofcancer.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/self-love-is-ruthless/ Today, extending it into a different direction: That Self Love is actually self-less. What does it mean? A life not lived in surrender is a life not even lived, [...]
The Divine Music
Imagine.. if you have time.. Imagine.. with me, here... Imagine that all of us billions, trillions, gazillions of beings are nothing but notes of a huge Divine instrument. Each one of us, can vibrate at one particular frequency, a very special frequency, very very perfectly. And each note is very unique, very special, there is [...]
Surrender is to give yourself back..
Imagine, that there is a thief. And that thief has for the reasons owing to the profession he is in, of stealing... has stolen a really sophisticated watch from a wealthy man. Now, the thief has that watch. Unfortunately, although he knows that the watch is valuable, but he has no idea of the real [...]
On Jealousy ..
Virtually all of us have experienced this thing called jealousy, in some phase of our life. Let us give our selves a little chance to go a bit closer to it and see its origin, its manifestation, and implication. So, let us look at it through an example: My mind picks up images of what [...]
Open up your gifts…
When life is going happy, we don't need to talk about those moments much.. Because somehow we know how to sail through them..in gratitude. What challenges us the most is our hard to face moments, our challenges, our difficulties: in relationships, in jobs, in work, in house, etc. It is really extremely interesting to observe: [...]
Wrapping paper
I am falling in love, with my little little challenges, my little little darknesses, which often appear so big.. and bring me always a surprise.. something I had never known, in myself, something I had not been aware of.. I wonder, at times, what a treasure hides in this existence.. within and without.. which slowly [...]
Want miracles in your life?
We all have a fondness for miracles! Don't we? Perhaps, we have forgotten, on the way of taking the life for granted, that each manifestation in this Universe is indeed miraculous. The Divine, the Grace is present, though we don't see it really in the image that we would want to see it... But the [...]
Self love is ruthless…
We often talk about self love, don't we? We often may just see it as pampering oneself, taking care of one's body, one's needs. There are more dimensions of self love which I will present here as a topic of reflection. Self love is ruthless. Self love is forever progressive. It is demanding. It is [...]
Selfishness and Self-absorption
Sharing a few thoughts on the subtle differences between Selfishness and Self-absorption. Selfishness is when there is only one's own self one is occupied with..and one wants everything for. Like hoarding material, amassing wealth at the cost of others, collecting properties owing out of insecurity and fear to protect oneself, always making one's own self [...]
Depression or Devotion: I choose
The life is not moving, behaving the way I want. I am not getting the partner I wished for, people are not respecting me in the way they should, even at my job everyone feels I am worthless, I do not have enough money, all my friends have left me alone.. and because all my [...]
We are all getting washed
Have you ever washed dirty dishes? Like, a flowing stream of water.. and in the sink below, there are other dirty dishes.. So, in the flowing stream of water, you have one dirty dish in hand, soaped...you are washing that one, and the flow of the water cleans in some way the other ones lying [...]
The road to Timbuktu..
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother have shown us the path.. They have shown us a long long path. A path, which has enough potential to keep us occupied worthily for a lifetime and even beyond. Now, it is totally upto me, whether I take the suggestion seriously enough, and walk it. They have also indicated [...]
Beyond Praise and Criticism
Just presenting a contention to reflect upon. Of course, as human beings, the ones that we are presently, we live mostly a life driven by either praise, or criticism. When someone appreciates, the 'ego' the 'image of me' feels inflated. And when someone criticises, the same feels dejected, sulks, OR infuriated, angry at times. All [...]
Dis-interestedness and indifference
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother tell the people who want to walk this path of Integral Yoga, that : Do everything that you do, with devotion and disinterestedness, as an offering to the Divine, asking for nothing in return. It is quite liberating to be free of demands and expectations of the fruit of service, [...]
Solution of misery: Awakening to the inner presence- from “The Life Divine”
Quoting an excerpt from Sri Aurobindo's The Life Divine: (CWSA Vol. 21, p.111-14) In the first place, since in our depths we ourselves are that One, since in the reality of our being we are the indivisible All-Consciousness and therefore the inalienable All-Bliss, the disposition of our sensational experience in the three vibrations of pain, pleasure [...]
Lotus, a symbol..
Many years ago, I wanted to come back to India after my studies, because I was missing the dirt and the dust and the struggles of India. I did not know then, why I wanted the dirt and the dust and the struggles. Many years later now, I still don't know why I love the [...]
It’s good that my plans fail..
Weird topic today, you would say! I thought, I shall share this reflection with all of you.. a bit that I see through my own experience. Often times, we plan something, especially when it is borne out of our hidden agendas, our manipulative tricks our egoistic desires and wishes..... and we see that it doesn't [...]
Ask..ask…. or just Give ….
She was unable to sleep. Slithering about in the bed. A lot of questions and resolutions wanted her attention. She yearned, she prayed, please, please, give me peace... Solace..some rest..some answers....this went on till she fell asleep. She woke up mid way through the night, and still remembered her yearning, longing, asking ... And then [...]
People don’t fail us, our expectations from them do…
I am presenting a contention, to reflect upon. We are often let down by people in our life, situations in our life, our kids maybe, job, business, etc etc.. Everything that one can think of, all external stuff present in the world. The suggestion I am presenting in front of us all is - People [...]
Looking for fun/food village and landing up in an ashram!
Imagine you are told that there is a fun and food village on the way you are walking. And then you begin to see many signposts on the way too, hinting at the directions to fun and food village.. So you steer yourself in that direction... After many days if walking and going through all [...]
Being misinterpreted..
Have you ever been misinterpreted? I am sure we all have been, at one point of Time or another. Let's touch a few aspects @ this topic here ... I have been misinterpreted too. It felt bad at first. I felt helpless too. And there were many instances i wanted to give my side of [...]
The Dis-ease of mental opinions
This post is just an invocation for all of us to see minutely our day to day workings, in details, up-close, microscopically... Just have a look, that whenever you are about to chat with a person, or call a person, or that person's thought appears in your mind, or that person himself is right there [...]
Two attitudes towards Suffering
Two kinds of suffering: One suffering is: I want a person, a situation, a certain external happiness, a demand to be fulfilled, a situation to go in a certain way, life to move in my way and all that is not happening. So, I suffer, because I am not getting what I desire. Another suffering [...]
Leap of faith: the dive within
You are living in a high-rise. Will you dive out of your window if I ask you to, one day? No way. You are living in a high-rise, and there is fire on your floor and you are trapped in your house. Seeing no other option, in order to save yourself from the flames, you [...]
Samataa and indifference
Sharing a few thoughts on samataa (equanimity) and indifference: On this path of life as sadhana, there are possibilities of misunderstandings at every step, especially in the moments when one is not able to access the guidance from highest possible consciousness within oneself. One may have mental theories about concepts one has read or heard [...]
How to let go of the guilt…
There are many times, many phases in our growth as a human being, a better person... That we hurt people in our ignorance. We all have done that or still do that, now and then... unknowingly. This we may realise only later, that our words, our behaviour, our actions were not from the highest possible [...]
Honouring experiences
We often don't honour our experiences, our phases of life. Ways of the existence are beyond the understanding of our mind, and many a times only several years later we realise the importance of the older phases of our life @ why they needed to be there, what progress they brought to us, what path [...]
Getting rid of panic, fear, doubt, anxiety, agitation, et al…
Have you felt panic in the body? I have too. Have you felt fear and doubt in the body? I have too. Have you felt trembling in the body, owing to anxiety? I have too. Today, I am going to share a little trick. A trick that helped me, and can maybe work with more [...]
Getting softer..
We all get our share of blows in life. That's how it is designed somehow. For each one of us, there is a special unique set of blows waiting.. yuhoo... Isn't that exciting!!! Can't wait to open my set!!!! -- What is upto me is - how I use those blows. Do I use them [...]
Relationships
We human beings live through relationships with each other... whether we want to name it or not name it, we have relationships with everything, each person in our life. We often try to save our relationships too hard. I wonder, why do we do that? Is it that we already know how weak they are? [...]
Levels of consciousness one acts from…
Have you ever been treated badly by others? Insulted, rejected, thrown off like a fly from a cup of tea, betrayed, misinterpreted repeatedly? Often when such things happen one begins to have self worth issues, one begins to wonder - am I so bad? What did I do to deserve all this? Was it only [...]
Suffering… A different perspective
We are judgemental people. We judge everything based on its appearance, it's facade, it's face value. That's how we usually are. It takes courage to see that I have judgements, and to keep them aside, and look at things, at people, at situations afresh. One such thing we are judgemental about is, suffering. It is [...]
Heart-breaks
Our heart-breaks are full of pain, and most of the times, make us suffer.. And when my heart really breaks, Then I get to know the pain of the person standing next to me at the bus stop, Only then I leave my tiny little world and get connected to a larger world.. In fact, [...]
How pain/suffering readies us for the dive
Imagine I give you a light weight object and you throw it onto the ocean. What happens? What may happen? Chances are that that object may keep on floating on the surface of the ocean, unless it soaks enough water and goes down.. Now what happens if I give you a very heavy object to [...]
Making sense of things…
Often things in our lives get entangled. Sometimes they get entangled too bad, so that one really wonders, why did I get stuck like this? How on earth did I manage to get stuck to badly? What karma have I done? What did I do, to deserve this? Why, why why? How do I make [...]
Do it now ..
We keep all of ourselves to ourselves usually, We keep sticking to ourself, This little I, full of a past, a history, a plan, a future, many relationships, etc. etc. All this while we have forgotten, we came to offer this 'I' to the Divine. We forget, and then gradually through life, we get burdened, through pains, thoughts, [...]
Offering..
I remember, Clearly, offering you and me to the Divine, to the fire of aspiration.. I remember that I did that for long, And now, it seems, all that is happening, no matter how painful, for both of us, is nothing but a sanctification, a purification, of you and me, so that our lives can [...]
All that appears… is not…
It feels that the 'me' has been let down, but why is there so much of calm inside? It feels that this 'me' has been betrayed, but why is there so much of calm inside? It feels that this 'me' has been thrown away like a fly from a cup of tea, Why [...]
Someone…someone.
Someone dying Someone being born, Someone in darkness, Someone in light, Someone elated, Someone deeply depressed, Someone light Someone heavy, Someone highly creative, Someone struggling to find his ground, Someone in hate, Someone in love.. Oh you divine master, All you, All your disguises, All your play... All someones are only you, Playing with yourself, [...]
Learning to love
We are all Learning to love. Through our failures in loving, Through our small little successes in loving, Through our so called blunders in loving, Through sometimes getting frustrated in loving, Through sometimes getting peace in loving, We are all Learning to love. What else this life, If not a continuous flow towards loving better [...]
I will meet you there
Deep within our separate bodies, There is a tunnel, A secret one.. It is not seen with the eyes we have, But it is there, very much. I go down there, and travel far some times, And try to meet you, Through your tunnel.. Don't know if you sense it or not. Don't know if [...]
‘It’
‘It’ keeps on hiding its manipulations from itself, or so ‘it’ thinks, And ‘it’ is in the illusion that no one sees. There is a Presence that sees it all, but speaketh it not, For it waits, for a conscious decision from ‘it’ to reveal its manipulations, Without that conscious surrender, a will to unburden, [...]
Seed… Darkness…
A seed, by itself, Wanders about, Moved by winds... A careless throw from a hand, And it wanders around.. Pregnant with a potential, It only knows, in oblivion.. And then, It gets embedded in the moist darkness Of all nurturing earth, The darkness holds the seed patiently, softly, with care, For it to crack one [...]
O darkness..
O Darkness, Now I see how you are full of light... I place all my attention, all my energy to people, situations, things, all my life, Good that my hopes are not answered.. Good that my demands are not granted.. In a hopelessness, I gather my strings, Wallowing, entangled all around, In a hopelessness, I [...]
It seems
I heard from everyone, Express, express, share.. I heard from so many, don't keep your love in your heart.. But what I am finding is, The more I keep my love for you, within myself, and not express it.. The more this love grows, expands my heart... It seems to me that love and silence [...]
When we shall be together again
And when, we shall be together again, I will keep it a secret from you, That I had wished this long ago, and Left it with the divine, Whether to grant or not. And when we shall be relaxing in our alone silences, I would keep this still a secret from you, And never tell [...]
The light within ..
There will be times, full of doubt, anxiety, confusion, darkness, fear.. and those times can really get heavy, they have this tendency of overpowering one's being, masking its light as if.. But as the stars shine in the darkest of space there is a tiny spark of light amidst that seeming darkness.. [...]
It’s never too late to surrender
It's never too late to surrender.. -------- I may think: Oh I have been a bad-ass, Oh so dirty tricks have I played, with myself, with my fellows, I may think, Oh how can I even think of offering myself, surrendering to the Divine, For I have been dirty, mucky, and Oh so sticky, But [...]
The Path of Surrender
The Path of Surrender -------------- There are phases in our lives when we become too settled with ourselves. Too much in our comfort zones, same circle, same activities, same everything and the only thing that is happening is there is stagnancy, as if the waters are settled for too long and not flowing and progressing. [...]
Only the Divine..
Often times we take up too much upon ourselves. Grief of a friend, suffering of a loved one, pain of another fellow human, the depression of another friend.. and in recent times, suffering of humanity. I wonder whether it is the right way for us to go. I wonder. I see that the highest status [...]
Softer.. gentler..
Having seen the selfishness inside me, I will now not judge people who show selfishness, Having seen the lust and desires within me, I will not be judgemental towards those who manifest it, Having seen the depth of darkness within me, I will not judge the ones in who I see the darkness, Having seen [...]
How passion/obsession comes to move us from tamas, inertia
The Mother's prayers and meditations - "February 9th 1914 Whatever may be the names they give Thee, O Lord, the elite of humanity, a thirst for the Absolute, ardently seek Thee. Even those who seem to move farthest away from Thee, even those who are solely occupied with themselves, are they not seeking an Absolute [...]
Back home…
I had always wanted a way out Out of my misery. Never really could figure out How on earth, is there a way out. And my miseries intensified, And further, deepened, darkened, Tears of blood had become a way of life, Entangled relations brought more strife. And when I felt I just could not continue [...]
The “I”
That importance, The "I" seeks From him, From her, From the situations.. That importance, The "I" will never get. The begging bowl Will never be filled, It will never rain, There where the "I" bangs his head. That wall will never break. The "I" will have to come back home, The begging bowl will have [...]
SPAM will be SPAM
SPAM -------- I am on my laptop and open my inbox. I see a lot of spam mail to be deleted. I am checking them all one by one and deleting 20 at once, then another 20, then another 20. It goes on for about 3 min. Then, I just ask myself: Why the [...]
Some days…
I see that some days I am a cat, some days, a dog, some days a mad woman, some days a man. A swan some days, some days a mad man, some days one with a brain, and some days, I lie in the drain. some days a mystic, some days a song, some days [...]
Move on
'My' demands will not cease, 'My' expectations will not cease, 'I' am the reason of 'my' sufferings, In pain I move on, In suffering I move on, In realising the futility of my efforts, I move on, I break and move on, I fail, I cry, I am knocked a gazillion times, I move on, [...]
Emotions: to express or not to express
All of us know that expression is healthier than suppression. Really? Have we ever questioned it? We all go through myriad number of emotions in a day, depending upon our mental state of being. Shall we express them all? Let's see. Something happened. It generated some emotions in me, and some in you, again depending [...]
Just this is enough.. or not..
I sit in the Sun With its warmth and light, Enveloping me, Seeping inside..gradually. The gentle breeze, Caressing and Playing with my hair. And I tell myself, Just this Sun is enough, Just the breeze is enough, Just the warmth of a day is enough... And in other moments, Nothing seems enough. Both moments are [...]
Forever shining
I see a bright star in the rain washed sky tonight. Its light appears flickering, Owing to the winds, But strongly it holds its space In the sky, Bright, burning, light, Sometimes a cloud passes by, Hiding its light for a moment, But I know that it's there. Behind the cloud, Still shining, The light [...]
CHANGE… a push towards evolution..
Often times, when change wants to enter in our life to catapult into progression of our evolution, the mask it wears are something like these: A challenging spouse A bizarre happening in life (the first one and this is similar- 🙂 ) Something that pushes us out of our comfort zones [...]
Inner vastness
An inner vastness Holds me in her lap, While I watch myself breathe. My body, going up and down with that breathing. That inner vastness Runs my show. While I watch. Helplessly. Unarmoured.
I need some time for myself to rhyme
I need some time, for myself to rhyme. To explore intimately, bravely, courageously. I need some time, I need pauses, for the depths to be explored, and the heights to be climbed. I would not be productive in that sense, when I am delving deep within, when I am touching something deeply with an attention, [...]
Surfaces and the divine
There is the possibility to reach the Divine hidden in the wine, the wine of the senses, the wine of the material, the wine of the myriad forms and shapes. There is a possibility. untapped mostly. For in the surfaces of the things, it is not visible, it is not felt. Felt only in a [...]
Held
I lie molten, in pieces, Being stuck and wounded By the arrow of love. Tears, wounds, vulnerability Adorn me. While I can't figure where I begin. And where I end. And then something touches me From nowhere. Soft, gentle, compassionate, courageous, wild, It feels warm. I feel held. It's your hand. I know, And I [...]
You .. Me
The immortal in me has fallen in love with the immortal in you. You feel so close, so intimate. No wonder. The mortal in me wants to experience the mortal in you. The immortal and mortal in both of us are manifested from one source. You have tasted that, I have tasted that. The same [...]
Bleeding in love
I walk naked on the streets, Bleeding, wounded, pierced, Seething in pain. No one gets to know. Only you know. Only you can see the unseeable. ------------- You wonder Why is this love so different? There is something not usual about it I wonder. And I get the answer. The intensity with which I live [...]
I am both, and none
In the middle of my unresolved situations, I lie resolved. In the middle of waiting for my love, I lie bathed in love somewhere within. In the middle of my unfulfilled desires, I lie fulfilled somewhere within. In the middle of this dryness I feel, I lie soaked in moistness. I don't wish to distinguish [...]
